Teens, Trunks, and Thin-Cut Potatoes: America’s Odd Holiday Trifecta

Today, America, we’ve got a trifecta of celebration that really covers the spectrum of human experience. On one end, we’re honoring the youthful energy and optimism of the next generation. On the other, we’re protecting some of Earth’s largest and most majestic animals. And in the middle? Well, naturally, we’re deep-frying potatoes. Because if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that food is the only real unifier.

Let’s start with International Youth Day, because the kids are our future and all that jazz. The United Nations came up with this one to “recognize the importance of youth participation in political, economic, and social life.” Translation: we want to make sure teenagers know they’re important before they hit thirty and realize the world runs on taxes, dental appointments, and muted group chats.

Don’t get me wrong—I love young people. They’re idealistic, energetic, and terrifyingly fluent in technology. They can take a single glance at your phone and know your deepest secrets, your credit card balance, and which ex still stalks your Instagram. They’ll also shame you for using the wrong emoji, which feels personal.

The tricky part about celebrating youth is that they’re not exactly easy to please. Ask a teenager what they want and you’ll get a shrug, an eye roll, or a TikTok link. Ask them to join a volunteer project and they’ll tell you they’re “so busy,” despite not having paid a bill in their life. But on International Youth Day, the message is clear: listen to young people. Let them have a seat at the table. Just maybe not in charge of the playlist—there are only so many sped-up remixes a person can handle.

From the bright-eyed optimism of the youth, we now move gracefully—like a 10,000-pound ballerina—into World Elephant Day. These gentle giants are basically the wise old grandparents of the animal kingdom. They’re loyal, fiercely protective of their families, and never forget—though I’d argue that’s not always a plus. Imagine if your grandmother never forgot the time you spilled grape juice on her white couch in 1997.

World Elephant Day is about raising awareness for the conservation of these beautiful creatures, who are under threat from poaching, habitat loss, and human stupidity (a recurring villain in most conservation stories). Elephants have an uncanny ability to bond deeply with one another, mourn their dead, and show empathy—traits we humans occasionally dabble in when we’re not busy arguing about whether pineapple belongs on pizza.

If you want to celebrate World Elephant Day in a meaningful way, you can donate to a conservation group, adopt an elephant (symbolically, please—your HOA will have questions), or just spend some time marveling at how much more emotionally intelligent they are than your ex. It’s a good reminder that kindness, memory, and a solid community aren’t just human virtues—they’re universal.

And now, the true showstopper of the day: National Julienne Fries Day. If you’re not familiar with the julienne cut, it’s essentially the prom-queen version of the fry world—thin, elegant, and deeply photogenic. These are the fries that look good on Instagram, the fries you get at a bistro where they serve ketchup in a tiny silver ramekin instead of a plastic squeeze bottle.

But here’s the thing: they’re still fries. Sure, they’re cut with precision, possibly by someone wearing a chef’s hat and muttering in French, but at the end of the day, they’re just potatoes meeting hot oil in a sizzling love affair. And honestly? That’s all they need to be.

Julienne fries are the gateway fry for people who claim they’re “not really into fried food” but mysteriously finish the entire plate when no one’s looking. They’re crisp, delicate, and an excellent excuse to eat mayonnaise in public without judgment. (The French call it aioli, but let’s not kid ourselves.)

So how does one properly honor today’s fry-centric festivity? You could break out the mandoline slicer, risk permanent injury, and make your own at home. Or, in the true spirit of convenience, you could find a restaurant that serves them and let someone else deal with the grease burns.

When you step back, these three holidays have more in common than you might think. Youth bring energy and optimism. Elephants bring wisdom and loyalty. Fries bring happiness and clogged arteries. Together, they remind us that life is about balance—dream big, protect the things that matter, and never underestimate the power of a good snack.

So today, go thank a young person for their relentless hope, donate to save an elephant, and treat yourself to a plate of perfectly crisp julienne fries. If you can do all three at the same time, you’re officially winning at life. And if not? At least get the fries.