Durango Kangaroo Escape: Irwin the Repeat Offender on the Loose Again!

Well, it looks like Durango, Colorado is officially a kangaroo hotspot. That’s right, folks—just when you thought you had seen it all, a rogue kangaroo hops its way into the local headlines. Not once, but twice. Irwin, the hopping menace, has once again outsmarted the local police force and decided to take his “leisurely” escape to the streets of Durango. The poor cops must be wondering if this is some sort of twisted game they’ve been roped into.

Now, I get it—Colorado is all about keeping things quirky. You’ve got your legal marijuana, your mountain ranges, and even your residents who think owning a kangaroo is just a Tuesday afternoon hobby. But the reality is, when you’re chasing a kangaroo through an alley, things are bound to get a little… bizarre.

The first time Irwin made his escape, it wasn’t so dramatic. He was young, and the whole “tuck him in a bag like a Joey” trick worked like a charm. But now? This kangaroo has grown—like, way grown—bigger than the bag. Officers found themselves in a heated debate over how to corral the increasingly elusive marsupial. Should they use a lasso? What’s the protocol here? Can someone just call in a kangaroo wrangler?

Enter Officer Shane Garrison, a “farm boy” with animal-handling skills that probably come in handy more often than one would think. Apparently, cornering a kangaroo is just like, well, cornering a medium-sized dog. Who knew? After some stealthy maneuvers, Garrison managed to wrestle Irwin into submission—okay, let’s be real: he grabbed him like a pet who had chewed up the furniture. He then plopped Irwin into the back of a police car, where the kangaroo was probably wondering how his life turned into a series of increasingly ridiculous events.

And let’s talk about Durango, shall we? A picturesque town known for its scenic train tours, small-town charm, and—now—its notorious kangaroo chases. It’s becoming the place to be if you want a pet with a bit of a rebellious streak. I can just see it now: next year’s tourism ad might be like, “Come for the mountains, stay for the kangaroos… and the slightly above-average police chases.”

But hey, I’m not judging. If you can legally own a kangaroo, why not? I mean, who doesn’t want to add a bit of unexpected excitement to their day? Forget about the mundane grind of daily life—grab a kangaroo and let the chaos begin.

We just wrote about another one of these kangaroo escapades in Alabama the other day—her name was Sheila. Same story: kangaroo gets loose, police chase, local drama ensues. Honestly, at this point, the only thing we need is a kangaroo reality show. Move over Keeping Up with the Kardashians—it’s time for Kangaroo Chronicles.

Irwin, of course, was safely returned to his family. He’s back in the downtown area, living the life of a pet kangaroo in a place where the local police are probably wondering if they’ll ever get their next quiet day. I guess you could say, in Durango, it’s just another day in the pouch.

As for the rest of us, we should all be thankful that Irwin isn’t running for office. If a kangaroo can cause this much of a stir, imagine the scandalous headlines he’d leave behind.

So, Durango, buckle up. It’s not just mountain tours and craft beer that you’re known for anymore—it’s the kangaroo chases that’ll keep you hopping.