The Cost of Helicopter Parenting: A Generation Struggling to Stand Alone

How is the progressive approach to raising and educating our children succeeding?  If the goal is to raise them to become strong, resilient, and independent, the answer has to be “not very well.”  It would appear that the combination of ceding power to the state and helicopter parents are producing adults who are unable to do some of the things long considered normal.

An astounding (at least to this Boomer) 77% of Gen Z (those born in the mid to late 1990’s to early 2010’s) take a parent to a job interview.  That is more than three-quarters of young folks concluding they are unable to handle this task on their own.  For most of us, doing this for the first several times was part and parcel of becoming an adult.

Almost two-thirds (63%) had a parent apply for a job.  More than half (53%) had a parent call the hiring manager.  Almost half (48%) actually had a parent take a test for them.  I feel like screaming: What would it take to prove to you that the way you are doing is not working?

What have we done?  We are raising a society of young adults who simply cannot stand on their own two feet.  Why is that a good thing?  Are we striving to produce strong, resilient, independent adults or weak, fragile, and dependent ones?

Hopefully, this comes across as someone looking at hard numbers and asking what they mean, not “get off my lawn.”  As Mike and the Mechanics once sang, “every generation blames the one before.”  None of this is a plea to return to the good old days.  However, it is a sincere request that we take an honest examination of what it is that we are actually doing, the results it is producing, and determining if this is what we want.

For a good many years, people who have worked for and with me have heard my mantra about planning backwards.  What results are we seeking, and how do we get from where we are to that set of outcomes?  Nobody is arguing that an increased level of sensitivity and empathy is inherently a bad thing.  That does not mean, like everything else, you cannot take it too far.

My generation was taught not to let your emotions control your behavior.  Sometimes, that resulted in overlooking the legitimate and reasonable feelings of others.  That does not require utilizing kindness and feelings as the only basis to determine if something is good or bad.  There are simply instances where there are things that are more important, starting with the truth.  That we cannot always know what that is does not mean that we never do.

To make matters worse, there is every indication that what is being done is resulting in weak, fragile, and dependent adults.  A recent report from Outward Intelligence further quantifies matters.  Only 19% of Gen Z trust their own judgment.  Another way of saying this would be that slightly more than four of five of Gen Z believe it is better to trust the judgment of someone other than themselves.

The study revealed Gen Z is less likely to worry about misinformation than older generations.  The authors reasoned that this is because those in Gen Z do not expect to get accurate information.  As might be expected their sources, virtually all digital, much of it being social media, render the traditional legacy linear media an anachronism.  26% depend on X for news, versus three percent of millennials.  Study after study confirms Gen Z is the least happy of all generations.

Remember this: With results such as these, it is far past time to demand we change what we are teaching our children to expect.  Who knows?  Maybe a little new thinking might produce young adults strong enough to go to a job interview by themselves.  What do you think?