Want to Be More Likable Instantly? Take Off Your Sunglasses, Science Says

In a world that often feels divided and rushed, the importance of kindness, respect, and civility can’t be overstated. These timeless principles—once the bedrock of American values and civics—seem to be eroding in the noise of modern life. Yet, these small acts of decency have the power to bring us together, bridge divides, and remind us of the shared humanity that unites us all.

This week in our Living Civics series, we’re focusing on one of the simplest yet most overlooked gestures of courtesy: removing your sunglasses when speaking with someone. At first glance, it might seem like a minor detail—just a habit, a fashion choice, or a matter of personal comfort. But like many small actions, it carries far more meaning than we often realize. Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of nonverbal communication. When we look someone in the eye, we show that we’re present, that we’re listening, and that we care. It builds trust, fosters empathy, and helps us connect on a human level. Conversely, keeping our eyes hidden—especially behind dark lenses—can make us seem closed off, distracted, or disinterested.

There’s something disarming about being truly seen. When we make eye contact, we invite connection. We allow another person to read our expression, to sense our sincerity, and to engage in a conversation that feels honest and personal. Removing sunglasses is a small act that signals openness, attentiveness, and respect. It’s saying, I’m here, and you matter. That’s powerful. It can change the tone of a conversation and deepen the sense of mutual understanding.

In today’s world, where people often feel unseen or unheard—whether by their leaders, their communities, or even their neighbors—being fully present with someone is more than a nicety. It’s a form of service. It’s a quiet way to push back against the current of isolation and apathy that threatens to fray the social fabric. And the truth is, we don’t need grand gestures to make a difference. Often, it’s these small choices—the ones that seem insignificant—that have the most ripple effect.

Removing your sunglasses during a conversation takes less than a second, but it sets a tone. It says, This moment matters. It says, You matter. Whether you’re speaking with a friend, a stranger, a coworker, or the person checking out your groceries, it’s an opportunity to meet someone where they are, not shielded behind a barrier but with sincerity and respect.

We all long for connection. We all want to feel acknowledged and understood. And while we can’t control how others show up in the world, we can control how we do. By choosing to engage with kindness, to lead with civility, and to remove even the smallest barriers to connection, we help cultivate a culture that values people over appearances and presence over performance.

It’s also a moment of self-awareness. Taking off your sunglasses means slowing down enough to recognize that you’re interacting with another human being—not just getting through a task. That moment of pause, that shift toward mindfulness, is its own kind of kindness. And it’s contagious. When you look someone in the eye, they often return the gesture. The conversation becomes more meaningful. The exchange becomes less about passing time and more about shared experience.

This practice might feel awkward at first, especially if you’ve grown used to the habit of leaving your glasses on or if you rely on them for confidence. But like any practice rooted in respect, it becomes easier the more you do it. And over time, it becomes part of how you move through the world—with thoughtfulness, integrity, and care for those around you.

Being a good person isn’t about perfection or performing for others. It’s about the quiet decisions you make each day to be a little more compassionate, a little more present, and a little more respectful. That’s the heart of Living Civics. It’s not about rules—it’s about values. And values are only meaningful when we live them out, even in the small, subtle ways.

So this week, pay attention to those moments when you’re in conversation. Notice the instinct to leave your sunglasses on. And then, if the situation allows, take them off. Let your eyes meet theirs. Let your presence be known. Let that one small gesture serve as a signal—to yourself and to the world—that kindness and civility still matter.

Together, let’s continue to rediscover these quiet truths. One small action at a time, we shape the world around us. And every time we choose connection over convenience, we help rebuild the kind of community—and country—we all want to live in.