Zippers, Shrimp, and Awkward Dance Moves: Why April 29 Might Be the Best Random Holiday Ever

Ever have one of those days where you think, “Man, there should really be a holiday for this”? Good news: there probably already is. Today’s calendar is bursting at the seams (pun very much intended) with a trio of holidays that feel tailor-made for anyone who likes their celebrations a little less stuffy and a little more… shrimp-flavored.

First up: it’s National Zipper Day — because nothing says human progress quite like a little metal track that keeps your pants up. Let’s give a round of applause for the humble zipper, the unsung hero of wardrobe malfunctions everywhere. Buttons had a good run for a few centuries, but let’s be honest — zippers are the MVPs of getting dressed in a hurry and pretending we have our lives together. Just imagine trying to speed through TSA with a row of tiny buttons. We’d never make it to brunch.

Speaking of brunch, if you needed an excuse to eat something fancy today (besides it being a weekday that ends in “y”), it’s also National Shrimp Scampi Day. That’s right — buttery, garlicky, shrimp-laden goodness is basically mandatory eating today. Whether you’re a skilled home chef or just really talented at ordering DoorDash, it’s your civic duty to honor this culinary masterpiece. Bonus points if you manage not to spill the butter sauce down your freshly zipped outfit. (Or don’t. It’s a holiday. Live a little.)

And just when you thought the festivities couldn’t get any better, it’s International Dance Day too. So after you zip up your jeans and inhale a plate of shrimp scampi, why not bust a move? Official choreography not required — interpretive dancing around your kitchen with a wine glass in hand absolutely counts. If your neighbors happen to catch a glimpse through the window, just remember: you’re not being awkward, you’re being internationally festive.

So there you have it — April 29th, a day to zip, sip, and slip into some very questionable dance moves. Bless your headlines, America: some days really are too good to make up.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my scampi’s getting cold and my dogs are looking at me like they’re about to file a noise complaint against my dance routine.